Bursting beyond the biosphere, Everything I Know About This Water Bottle invites us to marvel at how ridiculous, miraculous, and delicately entangled our world truly is.

At first, the title might seem whimsical or even baffling, yet by the end of the performance it feels perfectly fitting: a small, ordinary object becomes a lens through which the vast and sometimes absurd intricacies of life are revealed. With the exuberance of a late-night science sermon, writer Michael Andrew Collins fuses the wonders of nature, the fragility of our environment, and personal anecdotes with the intimacy of a monologue and the lyricism of spoken poetry. It’s quite the mind bender.

The narrative effortlessly meanders and shifts within a world that is at once intimate and thought-provoking. Every observation, no matter how small, feels revelatory, driven by a captivating curiosity. Its genius lies in transforming the mundane into myth: a single plastic bottle becomes a time capsule of human behaviour, where ingenuity and destruction are entwined. But beneath the humour runs a quiet, reflective sorrow, acknowledging the cost of our creativity and convenience.

Astutely directed by Violette Ayad, this marvellously unique work is set in 2052 and follows Aris (Ari Sgouros), a “dead cinema” creator, as she delivers a lecture-style story tracing how we – and an ordinary water bottle -arrived here. She traces the sediments of human memory, mapping our species’ milestones from the birth of oceans to the rise of plastic, from first love to natural disasters. Part fairy tale, part environmental soapbox, part confession, and part poetry, Ari shares moments that are deeply personal yet universally resonant.

Ari Sgouros delivers a performance that is both playful and profound, wholly captivating. Her storytelling builds momentum like a wave, layering wit, vulnerability, and wild imagination until the room hums with wonder. She draws you in with wry asides, gentle self-mockery, and moments of quiet revelation, making the ecological personal. She’s also dead funny.

Morgan Moroney’s lo-fi, analogue set and lighting design, complemented by Madeleine Picard’s inventive sound design, transforms the stage into a living canvas. Shifting light and shadow breathe life into cassette players, chalkboards, and VHS tapes, creating a space that feels both random and cyclical, turning science into poetry.

There is a captivating reverence for natural history. In just under 60 minutes, I learned more about copepods, those tiny “dinosaurs”, microplastics, and the political machinations behind recycling than I ever imagined, remaining completely absorbed throughout.

Everything I Know About This Water Bottle dares us to notice the small moments – to find delight in our imperfections, and to consider the legacies we leave behind. It encourages reflection on our interconnectedness, reminding us that human attempts to “clean up” our mistakes are often more illusion than salvation, yet the show never slips into cynicism, finding hope even in ruin.

This is a rarely seen style of theatre, full of intelligence, absurdity and poignancy. Above all, it is a compelling wake-up call: a one-act, one-woman meditation on our fragile, complex world. I left the theatre laughing, unsettled, and seeing the world – including the humble plastic bottle – a little differently.

Everything I Know About This Water Bottle runs at The Old Fitz Theatre until 17th Oct

See: https://www.oldfitztheatre.com.au/everything-i-know-about-this-water-bottle

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